If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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