Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
And then he peed in my hair
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
