I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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