he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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