Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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