So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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