Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
