Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You pole danced in your parka.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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