It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
