so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
