I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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