Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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