Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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