I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
