Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Are my feet made of real feet?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
