My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
