I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
