I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
