Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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