She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
