Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
