Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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