I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
how drunk are you?
Several
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
