Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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