dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
