I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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