You're completely useless in the revolution.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
