I got chris browned last night
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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