Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
