yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
