Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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