thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
