You don't have asthma, your pregnant
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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