It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize