he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
