A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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