I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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