Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize