Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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