he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
