How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
