I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize