I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
