i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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