We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
