About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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