We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
