I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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