HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
