His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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