I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
