but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woke up backwards on a recliner
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he had hair everywhere except his balls
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
