Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
