Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
