ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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